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Office Slang

after the dot bomb, do we still talk like this?

The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
Alpha Geek
The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible
Body Nazis
hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively
Chainsaw Consultant
an outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands
Chips & Salsa
Chips = hardware, Salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
CLM (Career Limiting Move)
Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
Cube Farm
An office filled with cubicles.
DAMHIK(Pronounced damn hick)
Don't ask me how I know.
Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a Vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of a deinstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask for assistance" (See also "Decruitment".)
To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been Dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
Ego Surfing
scanning the Net, databases, print media, and so on, looking for references to one's own name
Elvis Year
the peak year of something's popularity -- Barney the dinosaur's Elvis year was 1993.
Flight Risk
Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave he company or department soon.
someone who is clueless, from the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found", meaning the requested document couldn't be located -- Don't bother asking him,he's 404.
Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions. Used as in, "We were so lost in generica that I forgot what city we were in."
Going Postal
Euphemism for being totally stressed out. Or losing it. Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped and gone on shooting rampages.
A Get Out Of Debt job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts. One that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
Idea Hamsters
people who always seem to have their idea generators running
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example. Bill Clinton's shameful video Grand Jury testimony is another.
Employees of high tech companies that have a large portion of their compensation tied to stock options. This should keep them locked into their current jobs longer, but it doesn't.
Mouse Potato
the on-line generation's answer to the couch potato
that minuscule fraction of time in which you realize you've just made a big mistake
Pain Economy
Market place analogy for making someones life miserable until they fix a problem that is effecting you.
Percussive Maintenance
The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again. (Try not to dent the case.)
Prairie Dogging
something loud happens in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on
Proximity Repair
Explanation for software problems disappearing when a programmer is present. "The reason the problem stopped happening when I came up here was I put in a proximity repair."
Salmon Day
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
Seagull Manager
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
SITCOM(Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage)
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
Starter Marriage
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
Stress Puppy
a person who thrives on being stressed-out and whiny
Swiped Out
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
those who take training classes just to take a vacation from their jobs, "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were tourists."
Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
A sexual relationship of dubious standing or a concealed intimate relationship, as in "This is Dyane, my umfriend."
euphemism for being fired
Word of Mouse
Information spread on the Internet.
Xerox Subsidy
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from a workplace.
Yuppie Food Stamps
The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal, "We each owe $8, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps."
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